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(505):
i am eating a hot dog... idk where it came from but i like the hot dog gods they are magical. :]
(570):
So you threw up in the toilet as I was taking a piss, for the rest of the night you sat in the corner crying, randomly yelling WHY? WHAT DID I DO TO YOU TO MAKE YOU PISS ON MY HEAD?
(515):
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
(508):
You put a Chipotle Burrito in baby's clothing and left it in the trash to see if anyone would think it was a baby.
(734):
Received last night: "I just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "f*ck trophies." MDT
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(813):
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming. (1-813): only on the fourth of july.
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