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(347):
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
(667):
Its 2 am and i am trying to convince my friend *katie* who is driving to drop me off in the middle of a random street... me (in a very slurred and belligerent way)- "*katie* just leave me here i seriously have a ride come on".. katie replies... is that why you just texted me and asked me to come pick you up?... i read the text the next morning it said.. "nee ride now come pck up plz" MDT
(925):
So, she lost my book... and put a blunt in my backpack as a peace offering.
(603):
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
(310):
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee! (1-310): you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
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(813):
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming. (1-813): only on the fourth of july.
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