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(330):
We hit somebody with her car last night. Literally...hit. them. with. a. car.
(623):
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
(850):
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
(405):
(sent): she was so ugly i didn't want to do anything wit her, so i told her i couldn't get it up, not realizing that she had my cock out in her hand, and it was pretty hard. (reply): FAIL!!!
(905):
I just gave a guy a bj!!!!! (1-905) honey, u just gave a blow up doll a bj I'm rite next to u
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(208):
(S) dude i'm locking all my food in my room. (R) dude, i'm sorry but i'm a fucking Ninja (S) ya but if the Ninja eats the fat kids food the Ninja is getting kicked out of the house
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