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(703):
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
(612):
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
(401):
that weed was laced. i dont care how dank it it, weed should NOT make you hallucinate being chased by a wheel of cheese with bubblegum shoes. no more
(203):
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
(342):
I just had a conversation in spanish with a fucking owl!!!!
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(209):
just ate some jarred peaches at 3 in the afternoon and all I could think was "this would be fucking BOMB if I had some vodka" (1-209) I'm so proud!
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