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(204):
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
(310):
I was watching "The Little Mermaid" with my 12 and 5-year-old nieces. The 12-year-old asked me "Why does Ariel always seem to have on lipstick underwater?" I responded with, "Maybe she’s born with it." The 5-year-old, without missing a beat, said "Maybe it’s Maybelline."
(207):
Last night, drunk me did the dishes, cleaned up, and hung the washing out for hungover me. I don’t remember any of it.
(870):
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
(860):
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
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(734):
guess what? i'm going to the spree. COMMANDO. (734): tell me when you're going to be on the ferris wheel.
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