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(900):
apparently the ability to shoot semen really far is hereditary. it hit the ceiling..
(314):
Lube up, its going to be a rough night
(864):
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
(erby):
Last night, i received a text from my ex "Babe hope you are doing well just wanted to say shes sucking me off right now" Replied "Tell her good luck, takes time getting used to your small dick". MDT
(Anonymous):
he said he didnt mind that i was on my period. so we had sex. afterwards i apologized, to which he said "its all part of nature" and i said "well, my nature is all over your sheets..."
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(972):
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
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