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(Anonymous):
Last night, sent 3:28 am "mothaf*ckaa im illll NOT SICK" Received "mothaf*cka i'm asleep NOT AWAKE" MDT
(330):
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
(828):
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
(716):
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
(850):
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
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(414):
the concept of sit down restaurants escapes me.
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