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(715):
apparently when you go into wal greens at 3am in just boxers and glasses with no lenses and try to buy a single multi viatmin...their natural reaction is to kick you out and call the cops...phuckers
(407):
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
(610):
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
(813):
did i do u last night???
(403):
The pregnancy test says no...my lack of period is telling another story. Should I buy a second and try again?
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(405):
I drank with my best friend one night. she was flirting with me, and I went to kiss her.. the next morning I woke in the hospital finding out I fell over the balcony at the hotel.
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