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(404):
I was getting road head, and she popped up long enough to tell me to down shift. Then went right back to it...
(337):
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
(281):
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
(09):
Sent to the bank number that sends u a txt telling u how much your account is "Can u please give me back the $200 i payed off on my overdraft today? U no, it's a tuesday and I need to keep drinking".
(214):
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
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(734):
Dude, I can SEE music!
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