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(267):
Sent: want to co-produce a dinosaur sex fetish porn series? We can be the announcers and it can be like crocodile hunter, except with sluts wearing crappy costumes. Rec: Only if I get to pop out of a cake, you know to help the ratings
(678):
Dude! You wanna help me adopt 8 midget babies every year, and be the only non-midget around, and raise them to think we're their God?
(516):
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
(310):
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
(304):
I woke up with the taste of dick in my mouth, guess we had a good time last night =) (1-304) I was at work last night...guess we're over
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(218):
(sent) omg im so druvk!! (rcvd) dude its not even 9:30...
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