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(757):
i woke up naked. by myself. with a half eat ham and cheese sandwich and no recollection of how i came to be that way.
(712):
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma. (714): Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
(210):
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
(630):
Received: "Who did I fuck last night, cuz my bed smells like her perfume. She smells niceeeeee." Sent: "Im still here, just in the living room playing Xbox360. you smell good too."
(860):
dude she kissed me with dip in my mouth.....KEEPER
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(306):
some lady said "you really shouldn't take your purse with you to the back seat". it's a toothpaste stain.
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