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(636):
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
(208):
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
(708):
I will never be drunk enough to tell you that I can't stand your husband. However I am close!
(201):
are you considered an alcoholic when you turn straightening your hair into a drinking game?
(919):
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
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(972):
I got woke up in the middle of the night because she was peeing in the floor and I still was rejected! WTF???
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