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(954):
Typping wiht your nipples is only hard ig theyre not
(305):
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
(508):
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
(678):
you were so high you chased an asian lady in wal-mart on the motorized buggy
(401):
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
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(618):
DUDE I ALMOST FIT 2 FISTS IN!!!
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