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(818):
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
(250):
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
(615):
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
(937):
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
(405):
I thk i just fuckied a horse... its grinning and slobbering on me...
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(562):
You were talking shit on The Cure so Andy punched you in the face, and then you kissed him and wanted to fight everyone...
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