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(404):
Dude...can you like send a girl an Easter basket full of condoms??? She's allergic to chocolate...but she looooves sex
(207):
i can't recall much from last night, but i am 100% positive that a leprechaun drove us home.
(631):
you know you are drunk when you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshner
(251):
Dude.... It wasn't a landing strip, it was more like a mr.t Mohawk .
(850):
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
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(254):
we just teamed a girl in the bathroom at the mall!
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