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(Anonymous):
Last night, "i just smacked a kid in the face with a bottle of Johnson's No More Tears" MDT
(216):
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
(781):
Why can't I grow weed on farmville? It's a problem.
(England):
Somebody placed two garden gnomes in my parents bed, all tucked in. They look so peaceful; I haven't the heart to move them.
(773):
"I like my quesadilla like I like my men: uncut."
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(252):
Had to be trashed to figure out how my phone was taking pictures of itself
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