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(503):
Dude... your sister is so wasted. She's scooting around the living room saying, 'Why can't people scratch their asses like dogs?' You need to come take care of this.
(651):
I was getting head from this chick when her BF walked in on us... I turned to defend myself and came all over him... OWNED
(951):
The only reason I asked you out was because the fortune ball app on my iPod told me to.
(310):
You gold-diggin whore you'll need penicillin i have AIDS! - MDT
(562):
I repainted her walls with my cum. Peter north aint got shit on me.
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(831):
??I'm hoping your awake..went to concert with martin..some guy slipped a napkin in my hand that said "seen you across the room, call me" and left a number..
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