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(415):
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome.
(778):
I just threw up and my brother saw me in a thong. I don't know who I feel more sorry for...
(531):
Ive been drinking... A LOT. and i know you want me. you got a lot hotter tonight so lets fuck
(864):
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
(310):
i wasnt pissed when i woke up in the bathroom, covered in vomit, my head in the toilet, my phone broke, missing 30 bucks and car keys missing. i was pissed that i woke up without a blanket. wtf? ur a bad host
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(682):
Your the only one that didnt act like a HOE tonight
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