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(864):
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
(619):
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
(Anonymous):
Last night I received: "why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonald's?"... sent: "you tried to order a margarita mcflurry and when they said they didn't make those you tried to call 911." MDT
(480):
Oh Noes The veganzombies be after my cereal.
(480):
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
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(306):
I was so hungover this morning I cried during a taylor swift song. That drunk.
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