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(701):
I'm going to church tomorrow for the first time in a long time. (701-1) Cool, will you ask Jesus if I can take his mom's cherry?
(412):
I'm going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
(514):
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
(815):
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
(405):
Release the pedophiles! I know where you're going with this. And i like it.
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(505):
guy at the liquer store just asked if i had a good night, i said yes, he gave me a discount
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