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(614):
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
(636):
Someone dropped a chicken strip, and you started yelling "MAN DOWN MAN DOWN"
(518):
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
(423):
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
(973):
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
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(615):
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
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