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(858):
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
(304):
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
(918):
Why the hell did you leave me at ihop? (Rec'd): Cause you passed out and I couldn't wake you up. I left you there an hour and a half ago, are you just waking up?
(Anonymous):
Last night, sent: "Hey Ma" received: "What the F*ck do want you little cunt?" sent: "I Just wanna know when dad's comin home" received: "who gives a f*ck. I'm Drunk." :( MDT
(720):
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
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(420):
how high am i? i went into my kitchen cuz i heard my microwave stop, then i looked and i was cooking on the stove, and then i looked at my microwave and it said 4:20.
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