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(509):
I walked in on him fingering my dog...
(714):
you know its a good night when you go outside and find your underwear in the middle of the street. haha
(847):
I just rode to the bar in a car seat
(603):
(sent) so me rob and dust went to the farm up the hill last night and dug up a peach tree, dragged it down the highway and planted it some guys garden, hiding in the bushes so we can see his reaction when he wakes up. have breakfast waiting. (rcvd) bacon?
(906):
Drug dealer just told me he was in love with me. I'm going to milk this.
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(831):
my best friends sister is on the toilet what should i do? leave her or help her? i think leave her for a good story
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