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(904):
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
(630):
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
(484:):
man, we were stupid to give up sex for Lent... (610): yeah, but he had to give up shaving. i HATE when he doesn't shave... (484): uh, really? because it looks like he's pretty clean today... (610): HE SHAVED? I CAN FUCK HIM ON SUNDAYS!
(304):
(rec'd) Is it not considered rape if you scream 'SURPRISE!'? (sent) ..Well, I guess, if you're like, giving them a party in their vagina?
(323):
YES!! i finally tried making my pussy tighter while we were having sex an it turns out ima pro at it...haha his face was priceless ;)
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(260):
I'm eating Ramen noodles on the sole basis of it sounding Asian.
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