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(727):
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
(208):
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
(203):
Come over? It's my birthday (267): How many times has that text failed you tonight?
(204):
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
(718):
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch (917): I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
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(260):
I have more legos then I do friends
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