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(806):
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
(914):
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
(702):
He has tattoos, went inside the Hello Kitty store with me, and went down on me in the same day....I literally do not know what else to ask for in a man...
(250):
Why am i waking up in a baby crib on the lawn?
(501):
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
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(702):
skeet skket mof*cka. hurry up, i know you can
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