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(832):
You know your life is great whenever your girlfriend gives you great head, makes you food, and owns you at blackops all in the same hour (:
(919):
I typed "cu.." in my iphone and "cumdumpster" popped up. my phone knows me too well...
(Joe Kuhl Show):
Last night, "I just broke my thumb...while peeing in a ditch!" MTD
(609):
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner.... (732): This explains a lot.
(619):
He was passed out drunk andwe put peanut butter on his croch.as the dog liked it off he repeted not today mom
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(562):
dude i ruined one of my new shoes. (sent): i know, you kicked it into the middle of the street then blamed the whole thing on "those damn drunk drivers."
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