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(303):
I just got to this party with (my fuckbuddy) and she saw my girl walk in, when my girl started walkin to us she gave me a quick hug n said all loud "great to see u again, let me know when we can all double date sometime" and walked off... she's my future wife bro!
(949):
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
(902):
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
(410):
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
(602):
What if there is a giant civilization of dinosaurs on the other side of the mountain? And they're just watching us? Fuuuuck!
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(420):
in effort to go party with my friends, I sent a text to my mom saying I had the weed and she should get ready to get the shit fucked out of her.
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