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(214):
Last night smeone decided to replace my 3500 songs on iTunes with every britney spears song ever made.
(Anonymous):
Last night i received "Brittany, you are 19 years old. you need to stop drunk texting me every other night. I'm a cop. and I'm sure my lutenit doesn't wanna see texts that say KFJSHAFUfjdhfksSEXSEXdifhui*(syfHDSFUFSEXSEX in my phone if he ever gets a hold of it"... I don't even remember texting him. MDT
(417):
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish. (1-417): I love foreign exchange students.
(757):
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
(216):
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
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(240):
:( Ihateyourpussy
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