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(515):
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
(618):
Mom came and picked me up at 3am and I talked her into cooking breakfast when we got home, still think you're the favorite? I THINK NOT!!
(856):
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
(260):
He went soft (631): Wait. During? (260): Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
(207):
Dude I really wish the dementors would stop breeding so I could actually see the road when I drive around really baked
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(915):
told you that you blacked out
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