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(206):
I just went to the bathroom and realized after hovering for like 2.5 minutes... I was pissing and realized that the back of my thighs were wet. I was pissing on top of the toilet seat lid, and on the back of my pants. Shit. I'm gonna go stand under the blower machine.
(860):
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
(651):
he asked me if I would join him in prayer before we had sex
(Anonymous):
Last night, "I think the thing I've been most ashamed of doing with my penis was trying to see if I could register it as a fingerprint on my laptops fingerprint scanner JUST so I could login with a penis print it. didn't work :(" I will never use my friends computer after this... MDT
(908):
dude i got laid AND robbed last night...
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(915):
Okay time to take off the shades, just walked into a wet floor sign and thought it was a yellow child... I swear I haven't been drinking
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