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(801):
Woke up and found a quarter in my vag... WTF
(217):
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
(616):
last night the bartender asked to see your id and you flashed him....then he gave you a free slippery nipple.
(716):
rec'd: I iz in ur fridge stealinz all ur cheez sent: WTF, GET OUT OF THERE! I NEED THAT CHEESE FOR MY BREAKFAST SANDWICH rec'd: too latez the cat ate it all
(802):
I just watched her 69 with one guy on one side of the room and then a half hour later fuck another guy in the opposite corner. (802): You up next? (1-802): I was the one fucking her. (802): Lol. That was you?
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(610):
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
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