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(242):
you tried putting a condom on your ex's head saying you should dress more like how you act
(706):
Dude,got a dry handy from a girl Friday night and told her it hurt. She grabbed some KY and then spit lubed my junk.
(303):
I was just giving zach head. Then he started snoring. Good thing or bad thing? I don't have time to wait for your reply, I going out the window.
(678):
My RA. She's half black and half jewish.. Just got three birds with one stone on the list of "shit i wanna have sex with"
(Anonymous):
Sent: she said she wouldn't fuck me bc i was hammered. I don't get how she knew? i totally held my shit together right? rec: dude you went on for 20 mins about how you'd fuck the shit out of Pebbles of the Flintstones.
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(Anonymous):
I counted to five and it was over.. as i stared at the ceiling i wondered " Is this a joke".... i asked him what we were going to do about this " he said "idk what it is about you"
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