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(315):
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
(419):
if your going to come around again with your parents let me know so i can put pants on before they get here. i dont want the first thing your father sees of me to be my penis.
(513):
i may have set a small to average sized fire in your bathroom.
(401):
I just woke up in a tent with this girl, sat there for 15 minutes trying to remember her name, when she woke up she said "Hi, I'm ashley." I think I'm in love!
(714):
i was so drunk i had a dream i was drunk and was in line for powerade haha
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(604):
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
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