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(619):
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she said I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
(508):
was just in the liquor store and saw some 70 year old man in a sports coat with 2 40's bobbin his head to the music in the background.... PRICELESS
(352):
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
(516):
Remember last night how I drove to tacobell after the party? well i woke up this morning and my car wasn't out front. I mustve walked home from tacobell, forgetting i drove.
(602):
YOU tried to surf down the stairs on an ironing board, so don't blame me! I was the one that made you wear a helmet!
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(717):
dude, weed appears if you buy a bong, but food doesn't just appear if you have a plate. words of wisdom.
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