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(570):
hey baby i just wanted to let you know last night was amazing , for being a virgin that was great. (rec'vd): This is her dad, don't fall asleep tonight!!
(860):
Do you ever just feel like a complete jerk when you go to wipe your ass from taking a shit, and nothing goes onto the toiletpaper. It's like wtf, I just wasted a tree for absolutely nothing......
(843):
sent: happy fathers day!!! (rec'd): i'm not a father (sent): about that...
(603):
She's wearing a bump it AND sketcher shape ups. That's two infomercials at once.
(812):
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
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(859):
(RECV:) I wouldn't date a Communist, but if I did, it would have to be Stalin.
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