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(917):
she said she'd never given a handjob before. then she goes "it's okay, i know what i'm doing. i have a Shake Weight"
(785):
I really need to send an apology letter to my liver for how much jager I drank last night (1-785): And one to the owner of the trampoline you stole...
(631):
i went into my stepmoms drawer to look for a pair of socks when i came across her purple vibrator. it started to vibrate and when i went to turn it off i broke off a piece and it wouldnt stop vibrating.. i ran.. and my parents came home to the vibrator going off uncontrolably in the drawer .. awesome
(609):
I just nailed some chick with my car... Should I call 911? (856): Fuckkk! Are you drunk? And is she still alive?! (609): I don't know, but her feathers are everywhere and I don't think she's gonna be flying anytime soon....
(412):
sooo i woke up naked with the neck of a beer bottle near my vag. i also feel like there are glass shards in my hand. =/
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(985):
Jennifer Deveil Magruder is sexy!
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