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(217):
in so stonned i spent the last 20 mins humming the starwars theme while blasting the invisible stormtroopers
(561):
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
(760):
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
(510):
I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy.
(+33):
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
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(985):
Jennifer Deveil Magruder is sexy!
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