lol, that's where they belong. damn that sucks :P

Go to hell you jew fuck

jesus was a jew..im pretty sure he's in the bible.

Really great article with very interesting information. You might want to follow up to this topic!?! 2012

Really interesting blog, keep up the good work!

Thanks for tris interesting information! I found it very useful =)

This website online provides you with credibility and position to ship the products and / or services. I like the Internet.

What have u done? the Christians are going to be soooo mad!

Good job my man. Put everything where it belongs

This is theological profiling. I commend you!

Finally. they should put all the bibles where they belong. in Childrens fiction!

W/E! that's a bumpersticker u lame ass.

don't worry; Jesus died just for this very reason, to forgive all the idiots of the world!!

yep yep they belong in the FICTION section!!!!!! i mean really lets be honest!!!

The Mormons are going to come after you... Good job

If that really is a bumper sticker, I want it.

SAD ;(.....

Not funny or cute. I hope that you don't find out the hard way that the Bible is TRUE. Sooo Sad, my hearts aches for those who are fooled.

HAHAHHAH no. its fake.

Your heart aches for yourself?

learn the hard way that the bible is true. how does the fact that a man truly got stuck inside a big fish effect me in any way? the bible is a story book to teach good morals; it isn't a historical document. yes, god is awesome, but jesus wasn't his son and you don't need to read a book to love god. the tortoise and the hare is a good little story too. it tells us to pace ourselves and be humble. it's not like i'm going to worship a turtle cuz he taught me this

^^ is real talk! Like she said bible is to teach good morals otherwise its only for cults and hotels. Religion is whats devides the world HELLO. Until we come together and unify we will not evolve as a human race!

thats too funny! that is exactly where they belong

Christianity....The biggest cover story for infidelity the world has ever seen!!! Honest honey...i've never slept with a man.

does anyone actually care "/

hahahahahha

idiot.

You know i think i will do that

Haha, about time! Half of the Bible is written by random people, and the other half is all fiction.

hilarious. and everyone who is all "don't mess with the bible!" needs to pull the stick out of their collective ass and stop being so uptight.

LEGENDARY!

hahahah, wow.

GREAT! I want to bumper sticker, too!

someone told me today jesus is a muslim. i took his leaflet, it sounded like the best joke book ever :')

EPIC WIN!

old joke. verrrrrry old joke.

The best laugh I had today!

I want it on a bumper sticker. Made my day, LMAO!!

thats not even funny.

Yes it is. Your sense of humor just sucks.

I want a poster of it!

This is awesome!!! I also want it as a bumper sticker... and for every one who does not think that this is funny get the sand out of your vagina!

Y'all r idiots .... The bible is true and when y'all fall dead at the site of Christ while all of us are raptured . U all are gonna burn in hell! I'm not a middle aged women I'm 15 and proud to serve god!

NOT BLESSING THEM WHICH PERSECUTE YOU Ro 12:14 THREATENING GOD’S PEOPLE Acts 9:1,4,5; Jn 9:22,28,34 BUSYBODIES (meddling) Pv 20:3; 1 Tim 5:13 i feel like this comment does all of these i.e ur also a sinner and going to burn... so suck it

36.. ur gay

haha hell yea!!!!

#37, please do not insult gay people, we are much more open minded than #36!

lol at this conversation.

FUCK YOU my man, FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU ALL HEATHENS JESUS IS THE WAY FUCKERS

'Fuckers' and 'Jesus' really DO belong in the same sentence.... Even if this joke is as old as the Bible, it's hysterical! And the comments are equally as funny. :P I really enjoyed number 36's use of the word y'all. Really sophisticated. I live in Oklahoma, and people here rarely use it. Classy, really.

There is no Heaven. There is no Hell. There is no God. God is merely a concept created by man comfort him. Religion is teddy bear, and if we ever want to grow up we have to let it go.

Numbers 7, 12, 14, 36, and 42. You do realize that the bible was written generations after Jesus died. The bible wasn't compiled (put together from individual scraps information) for hundreds of years after the death of Jesus, and it was compiled by the Roman Emperor Constantine, who converted to Christianity after reportedly seeing the sign of the cross in the Sun after winning a battle in which he was severely disadvantaged. Oh, and they left most of it out; it was compiled by a roman emperor and thus it contains only those passages conducive to order and the rule of law. Oh and by the way, the passage of the Bible that some people claim decries homosexuality as a sin was originally worded as "a man should not lay with a boy as he would with a woman". It was about child molestation. Suck on THAT Catholic priests! And Islam is no better. The Koran was compiled after an even longer period of time than the Bible, and was originally written in a shorthand version of Syriac (a local mix of Aramaic and Asyrian) which had no spaces, punctuation, or identifying markings (such as accent marks, tildae, etc), meaning that each individual word in the Koran could mean as many as 30 different things. Also Islam came along over half a millenia AFTER Christianity, so Jesus could not have been a Muslim -.- He was Jewish.

that just made my clitter twitter!

#45 just pwned everyone in this comment listing.

#45 also doesnt have a life..

#47 makes a good point

I will pray for you all.

Stupid Atheists.

Omg just read this I did that, but got kicked out of mall for three months

thats not funny. agreed #50

"The bible wasn't compiled (put together from individual scraps information) for hundreds of years after the death of Jesus, and it was compiled by the Roman Emperor Constantine, who converted to Christianity after reportedly seeing the sign of the cross in the Sun after winning a battle in which he was severely disadvantaged." According to Biblical tradition it was written by the four Evangelist writers and apostles Matthew, Mark, Luke and John in a period about 40 to 80 years after the death of Jesus. However, this is highly unlikely since A) a high early mortality rate for the time B) being the "sons of fishermen" they were probably illiterate and C) other non-compliant Bibles found in the area which indicate that the "real" Bible was written by Jewish scholars. Constantine did grant religious freedom for the Christians, but he didn't personally write anything in the Bible. I'm of the opinion that it is all a bunch of bull shit; a more realized person wouldn't need to rely upon a bunch of moral fables to lead a good life. People hide behind the Bible because they can't defend their own narrow minded opinions and actions. And when they use it for their stupid little arguments they always take quotes out of context and twist the meanings. For example, in Leviticus, where it says homosexuality is wrong, right next to it is that little passage about shellfish being a sin too. Yeah. That makes TONS of sense. Even Jewish scholars agree that Leviticus is an outdated text, because not only was it supposedly written a couple centuries before J.C. it was written for a people who had no idea about the universe about them in a time when there were no social traditions to dictate "right" from "wrong." They didn't even really have a real religion yet, so Leviticus and the book of laws were really just a way to shut them up and have them blindly following the leaders of the time. Therefore taking away their individuality. =) (Catholic education for nine years, Jesuit education for 4, and still an atheist! Hmm... wonder why? Bible = fiction section!)

Omg thats freaking hilarious

as soon as I saw that there were 54 some-odd comments, I just knew this would turn into a fight and people disparaging Christianity and the Bible. everyone needs to chill. this was just meant for laughs. I thought it was a little funny, and I'm a Christian. CHILL!

the atheists smashing on the Christianity should have just kept their opinions to themselves and this wouldn't have even started.

Jesus wasn't Muslim, he was a Jew.

Well done... Let's have the Bible scientifically tested next... I really want to see if these claims are true: 1. Earth existed before light/electromagnetic radiation. 2. The universe is 6,000 to 10,000 years old. 3. An omnipotent being that has never been definitively shown to exist is everywhere and will grant you salvation of you believe in him. 4. A woman was created out of a man's rib. 5. Adam and Eve gave rise to the entire human population's diversity in a mere 6,000 - 10,000 years. Of course, you don't expect people to actually search for answers. Of course you'll deny science in order to believe in your delusions. I would rather be stuck on an island with 1 scientist than 100 priests. Oh, and I would rather go to hell for the rest of eternity with intellectuals and freethinkers rather than people who believe in blind faith.

this is a website for drunk texts not for preaching. The bible countains awesome stuff, but man can we laugh a bit...

were it belongs bro

k 56 stfu because it was the christians that really started this (Im looking at u 7 and 12) and further than that is that until u can prove the existence of god the bible does belong in the fiction section. BTW jesus was a jewish midget zombie. PWND

jesus was a vampire! he was still able to think when he rose frm the dead... like vampires!

alright i want 2 start a new argument. FUCK BARNES AND NOBLES BORDERS IS THE BEST

36 the fact that ur 15 just makes what u said more fagotty

stuff like this is another reason I'm religion-neutral. (well, mainly because I'm too lazy for the one I'd choose for, but yeah) but the text was funny :)

barnes and nobles in neshaminy mall ? or near oxford valley. ha

#45,#53,AND#58 MAY HAVE EACH HAD DIFFERENT VIEWS BUT THEY STILL CREAMED EVERYONE IN THESE "COMMENTS" AND SINCE RELIGION IS SUCH A TOUCHY SUBJECT AND PEOPLE DIE FOR IT AND EVERTHING I NOT SURPRISED THEY REMAINED "ANONYMOUS"

65, it could be the one in plymouth meeting too

im pretty sure that in the barnes and noble I go to, the bible IS in the fiction section... maybe my barnes and noble is just better than all of yours? hmm idk.

lol whoever posted this, i love you

this is a fucking old joke, not realll funny no more

I was a little upset when i first read all of this. regardless to where the bible belongs, people throughout history have died for it- Have paid the ultimate sacrifice. Wars are still being fought over it. I don't know who the 15 year old was who got put down for standing up for what she believes, but I give that kid more respect then any of you- even though the use of idiots and Y'all were over used. what i'm saying is... those who are so sure that the Bible is crap and/or religion is, try convincing that 15 yr old. Or how about convincing those in the past that WILLINGLY sacrificed all they COULD for FAITH. It might be blind but I myself would rather follow something that so many believed in with such ferocity that they paid so much... then to spend my life hoping it was all made up. And if in the end you still feel its crap... please... for the sake of how much GOOD it has and still is doing the world... still your lips and keep what you feel inside. because GOD forbid you change the minds of people who are trying so hard to live a good life. I myself am trying to keep my faith. It is things I see such as this that make it difficult. for those who feel the same. Have heart... you're not the only one.

All i gotta say is go on google video and type in Zeitgeist and watch all of it!!

Ahahah, that's hilarious. And so proper too.

#71 said exactly what I was feeling. Their are two sides to this story, and regardless of what your beliefs are, a little respect (whether learned from the bible or from somewhere else) should be shown for both.

Bible fight!!!!

that's as old as the internet dorks.......

so #71, you're so ready to follow something that people sacrificed so much for. There is two sides to the coin on that argument. Sure, people had so much faith in what they believed , that they lost their life, etc. while upholding that belief, the persecuted. So what about the persecutor? The person who had so much faith in their belief that they took that other person's life, because they believed they were right. No matter how you look at it, it's not right. Everyone has their own beliefs, and everyone thinks that they are right and nothing can sway them from that, even considering the fact that the majority of religions are all based on the exact same "pagan" beliefs/stories ; Especially Christianity

seriously.. im catholic.. i go to church.. i study the bible my daughter goes to bible camp.. give it a rest.. its a joke.. its funny.. stop crying about it!

DUDE! i fucking do that shit all the time and put porn in the kids section! haha

DUDE! i fucking do that shit all the time and put porn in the kids section! haha

#77 fkn owned everyone!!!!!! watch the movie Religilous. best movie ever. FTW!!!!

#77 didn't own anything. I'm going to refer to 77 as Decius from here on out. Decius, that has got to be one of the stupidest arguments I've ever seen. You're honestly comparing someone taking another persons life for religion to someone giving it for their religion? Unfortunately for you, Adolf (I liked this name better for him), the kind of people you're defending are the reason that fucking cults exist. I see you also say that neither GIVING your life, nor TAKING one is right? I literally can't even think of examples to counter his points because he doesn't make any. Accept for at the end there he quotes yet another BELIEF that's also LARGELY BASED ON THEORIES. I guess you can take solace in the fact that you're only good point didn't have a glaring hypocrisy right? Wait, shit.

why did everyone make such a big deal about this???? it's a fuckin' joke. get over it. move on with your life, geez. instead of arguing on the internet. go find a fuckin' job or something.

#82 is a pretty bad troll. "I use names of bad people to make the person I'm talking about seem evil! I'm so witty!" Hilarious. Anyway, I believe that #82 is saying that giving your life for something you believe in justifies all the deaths caused by that same belief. I'm sorry, but that's rather silly when you think about it. Nobody should be dying for beliefs, rather they're giving their life or their life is being taken, people shouldn't be dying because of some religion. Also, scientific discoveries are far more logical and believable than blind faith. You say, "LARGELY BASED ON THEORIES," but theories are scientifically put together and thought through, and are supported by evidence. Religion is not, as you can plainly see by reading some of the other posts on here. Religion is purely blind faith, putting your belief in something that has no substantial proof or any real proof actually. Religion was created merely to soothe the fear of not knowing. People have a natural instinct to know things. The more they know, the more they want to know. It's natural. However, what the Bible does is it takes all those things that we haven't quite figured out for ourselves and hides it all under a blanket with the words, "GOD DID IT," written all over it. I've read the Bible, and I do admit that it has some valuable teachings to offer people. However, it is entirely a work of fiction and anybody who believes otherwise has not thought about the subject enough. Religion has held back medical, scientific, psychological, mathematical, etc advances throughout the entire Dark Ages because of religion, (Namely Christianity.) I mean come on people, this is ridiculous. The thought of a higher power isn't totally off the wall, I mean, it is a distinct possibility. However, to base your entirely life to worshiping him and doing his will, even though you've never even seen/heard/talked to the person, is absolutely ridiculous. Live life the way you want to, be a good person, and be happy. Don't spend all day praying, because nobody's ever going to answer.

if you're someone who "sucks the god cock" why the fuck are you on MDT shouldnt you be somewhere praying for the end of the world or some shit ..........or maybe you can pray for some fucking evidence for your stupid brone age fuckin fairytale ....

text is funny, but I think "sucks the god cock" just became my new favorite phrase. Thanks 85!

nice, but i would have put them in the comedy section.

you shouldn't get in trouble for putting them in the correct section

high fucking five man, i'm gonna do that too!!!!! fuck yes, and fuck christians.

AMEN #36!

penis

#71 is so true. and i definetly respect her for stnading up for her self. Its really sad, most of the people on here have never cracked the cover of a bible, yet they are so willing to trash what is says. Also, in the gospels (the books of the bible that tell about jesus) the romans and such didnt say they didnt believe in God. they just believed christ wasnt the sent messiah. thats why they crucified him. Infact, there are still people today that are still waiting on him to come. And if all of what you guys say IS true. The bible being fiction and what not, what do you make of supernatural healings? Its a cult right? well, a cult is something from satan, and satan is a fallen angel, made by GOD. What im saying is, do your research before you start talking crap. There is no excuse for laziness. BTW, I love God! i know he exists, because i talk to him daily. He has changed my life completely (most people have to go through rehad and such to get off heroin) i didnt. how do you think i just so magically recovered by myself? God is real guys, believe it or not, you just dont know. I will be back on here every few days if you guys have questions. =)

# 22, Where did you get that fact? definetly NOT true. All of the bible is true, and gods chosen people wrote it. 2 timothy 3:16 sais all scripture is God breathed. The gospels were written within 40-70 years after Christs death and resurrection. If what they wrote was not true, people would easily say "thats not true" and what they wrote would not be put in the bible. The old testament was sacred to them, they didnt want it polluted, thats why they were really carefull adding to it witht he new testament. And after Jesus' death, if the scribes did not cody the scripture correctly, they were put to DEATH. No ifs ands or buts. It had to be exact. And the apostles were put to death for telling people about Christ. They were SO sure what they saw and witnessed was true, they were willing to get sawed in half, hung upside down on a cross, and stoned to death for that. Would you die for a lie? i didnt think so. There are still people today doing the exact same thing. In 51 countries, proclaiming Christ sends you to jail or to execution. Once again, woud you die for a lie? i didnt think so. And, if Jesus wasnt the messiah, why were there over 400 people predicting his birth. That he will be born of a virgin, in bethlehem, and so forth? To me, saying he wasnt the messiah hust doesnt make sence, all the scripture points to HIM.

Where do you think all the laws come from. Murder? Why is it bad to sleep with someones spouse? Why is it bad to steal? Cheating? God made up all these laws a LONG LONG time ago. The world goes by these laws, so why are we so sure that the bible and god are fake? when we live by its laws (to a certain extent) i mean 78 % of American claim to be christians. And if they really were, why is it that the US is falling apart. Why is some 12 year old girl getting raped by a 28 year old man in the middle of disney or mass murders happening all the time. If we are who we say we are, why do we see all this. I know what its like to live a double life, i used to go to church then go home and act nothing like i did at church. I mean, who are you to think the presence of God is JUST in the church? Who are you to backstab God over and over again, when he made you, sent his son to die for YOU, gived you breath each and everyday. Who are you to do that? He could kill you in an instant, yet you have lost all fear of him and go on with you sick disgusting lifestyles.

Dear Atheists: You KNOW God doesnt exist. Right? Okay, lets say you are the smartest person in the world. I mean, no one can know more than 3 or 4 percent of what there is to know. But you, your blessed, we will let you know 70% of EVERYTHING. So your really smart, your brain is really big, youve got enough pride to feed world hunger. Okay, so you dont know 30%. So outside of your knowledge, your 70%, Does God exist? I mean, YOU DONT KNOW!!!! think about that.....

If you're a fan of the bible, i reccomend two other books to you, Yertle The Turtle (teaches perserverance and to a large degree stubbornness) and also The Boy Who Cried Wolf (teaches about how when you lie about something repeatedly you will eventually not be listened to) God is not real, if he were we wouldn't have these issues of "Religious War" (largest oxymoron ever) "Mortal Sins" (as opposed to immortal sins?) and "the Ice-capades (just saying, those bug me).

Gods didnt create religion. He created the church for people to come and recieve healing, for fellowship with him andother believers. Religion came into view when some epople thought their view of the bible was better and what books should appear in the bible. And God definetly doesnt want religion, he wants a relationship with you. The religion stuff doesnt even matter. The ohrase Mortal sins is just a saying. It just means that Man committed sin. Theres no such thing as immortal sins, because God cant sin, he is perfect. Poeple traveling to ice skate has NOTHING to do with that.. LOL

i just send in my check for tithing .

I find it incredibly amusing that most of the bible-pushers can't spell simple words like, "Definitely," correctly. Do ho ho ho, silly christians... you always manage to make me giggle.

lol, we are people too. =D

This is a quote STOLEN from IRC quote data base.

i just came to the sad realization that i need a life...i mean i read all 101 about people fighting lol...behind their screens

I got kicked out of Sunday school when i was a kid for saying the Bible was a nice story. The pastor said I was inciting the other children. My mom said "she's not bad, she's just full of life". It didn't work. Banned for life. Seriously. We couldn't have my father's funeral at our church because of me. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?

Fuck all of you guys

Alright, this is a little crazy. hey #65, It was in Neshaminy Mall, I used to work at the T Mobile kiosk, and got kicked out the one day while doing that.

I love how this is a whole atheist vs. religion battle on mydrunktexts.com! seriously, no joke! but I have to wonder, was the movie Constantine (with Keanu Reaves) a sort of allegory of one man's rendering of the bible? If that makes any sense... just wondering if anybody thought there might be a connection between that movie and the roman emperor constantine...

and i also love how we are acting like bibles go in the non-fiction section ?? they obviously belong in the religion section unless people are arguing that the bible has nothing to do with religion? Surely atheists can agree that books of Christianity have to do with religion?

#96- Not mortal as opposed to immortal, mortal as in death of your "eternal soul". there is a subtle difference.

"And if all of what you guys say IS true. The bible being fiction and what not, what do you make of supernatural healings? Its a cult right? well, a cult is something from satan, and satan is a fallen angel, made by GOD." Before I get into what I have to say, I would like to say about this statement, I would like to point out to #92 (who wrote this quote) that I have read half of the bible. So I have cracked it open. I just wanted to point out that Christianity was a cult before it was a religion. That's how every religion begins. So if you pout that a cult is from Satan, you are implying that Christianity was created by Satan. So therefore you are following the sinner. Maybe thats why so many Christians sin so often.

this is sad that you all think this. jesus died for your sins so that you could go to heaven and look at what youre doing. youre going to be going back to the book store to get those bibles when the rapture takes place and youre all left behind and ready to spend eternity burning in hell. think about it. jesus loves you no matter what you do, or say & you all need to get it together.

Thats not what Im implying at all #109. Christianity was maybe a cult to the romans and such, but never to God. Christians sin so often because they give in to their own fleshly desires. It had nothing to do with thinking that Christianity was a cult. I was just pointing out that people are so ready to trash the bible before they know what it says. And that they are so wrapped up in thinking that they know what they are talking about, that they are contradicting themselves in the process. Id like to know where you found that Christianity was a "cult" in the bible. Thats cool you have taken the time to read that though. =) #92/110

whoops, i meant 111 (not 110) =D

I love how #2 knew exactly what was going to happen!

juuust another bashorg copycat

I find this incredibly interesting that a battle of religion has sprung on the comments section of this website. However, I feel it necessary to say my peace now that I have read all of the comments. Many of the people who are bashing Christianity on this site are using the same arguments that I hear time and time again. I am not saying that the Christians are necessarily using fresh arguments either, but because I know Christ, what they say resonates with me. I find it interesting that if you actually look at what is being said, it is not really a good argument. I cannot make one either in this limited space. I can say that if someone is truly interested in shedding their shield and their bias against Christianity and digging for truth, there are books out there to read. More than a Carpenter by Josh McDowell. The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel. And clearly, before you tell me that my God doesn't exist and regurgitate random tidbits that someone has told you before that you have never even fact checked, please actually read the Bible that you are bashing. That is all that I ask.

say whatever you like, you gotta admit tthats hilarious

you guys are all stupid. whatever anyone says about the bible being real or fake isn't going to make some of these idiots change thier opinions so whats the point in fighting about it?

Violation

habalooo wigadoo pigaloo... NIGGA!

hahaha alright!!!! Just where they belong, thats the greatest thing I've ever heard

#95, it's "you're" not "your"... there are some things you can't learn from the bible I guess

Thankyou 116. thats what i have been trying to say the whole time. people bash the bible when the only thing they have ever heard about it is from their friends who have also never read the bible. it really gets me going when people judge a book by its cover, literally! lol, 122, no one really cares abour grammer, they get my point.

#95, everything you typed had no real meaning and was totally irrelevant in every context of the word. . .i'm not getting any further into this argument because those who follow with blind faith will never see any other side than the one they are already indoctrinated into.

Actually it did have meaning, most of the people posting on here are either christians or atheists. i was just pointing out the fact that no one can know everything, and that people knwo barely anything at all. An atheist is someone who KNOWS god doesnt exist. if you dont know, your an agnostic. period. I was just proving that there is NO suh thing as an Atheist. =) Thanks, # 95

All the people bashing #95 cant really argue. The only thing they can say is "Bad Grammar" and "Not Relevent" Seriously?! You know the truth, stop being ignorant.

I feel bad for the Christians. Like, it would suck to have the same imaginary friend as someone else and have millions of people bashing them and their friend... I'm so glad that I don't have millions of people bashing my imaginary friend and I. His name is Jumanji. =]

#116 - Thank You

Just as #22 said, how cant you believe in Jesus and the Bible when there are hundreds of people predicting His coming over 700 years before it happened? Some of the stories in the Bible are not supposed to be literal, but that doesnt mean they dont have good meanings behind them. The Bible was inspired by God so we had guidelines to live by; how to be a good person and not a herb who sits on thier computer to try to disprove someone elses beliefs.

What I don't understand is that people say "if you don't believe in him , you go to hell" and then after that they say things like god is "understanding and compasionate, and forgives you of all your sins". If so, we're all saved even without believing. That or some major hypocracy is going on.

#107- Only if religion is globally recognized as a sub-genre of fiction

Jesus loves all of you. :)

niceeee!

I

hahahaha im crying right now

you should gett a bigg highh fiveee and a fucking reward for that shit. your fucking do the people that work there, there fucking job cause they put it in the wrong place and look at you, doing there job i mean you should get money out of there pay into your pocket my man.

THERE YOU GO HOMIE

#130 this is true. hahahahahah this made me laugh so hard. whethere you believe in god or not, chill out. this was meant to be just a joke. it's funny. laugh.

The bible was rewritten & translated many times wasn't it? the stories change. it's like a game of telephone where you whisper a sentence to one person & that person whispers it to the other & so on. the ending story usually doesn't match up with the story it started with. i believe in God, but i personally believe the bible is crap.

-salutes you-

give it a break you raging homos writing paragraphs. relegeous or not. this is fucking hallarious

you totally copied this, i've seen this one before

this would have been funny if i believed you could read

I'd totally do that too lol.. that's where they belong.. if I knew who you were or where you lived i'd drive over there and give you big ass high five lol.

138. There are planty of online websites and book that show all the translations. The bible was translated by scholors and scribes, smarter than you and all your family put together. If the scribes got the translation wrong or tried to add something in, everything they ever translated was BURNED, and then those scribes were put to death! i dont know about you, but thats a pretty good reason to translate the bible correctly.

i32. I can see why your confused. God does promise forgiveness to those who turn to him. But those who dont, well, they are sentenced to an eternity in hell. Personally, i KNOW go exists. The things i have seen, the miracles still performed today, tounges, the things he has done in my life. There is NO way those things are just kharma or coincidence.

i think i just lost brain cells from this whole conversation, you are all stupid, I'm talking to both parties- Ones who believe and ones who don't. Shut up its a dumb site for funny texts, even though this text is extremely old and copied, shut up already, you're not getting anywhere by fighting over the internet.

....

Really... promises forgiveness, as long as you turn to him. I really can't believe that people actually believe that we are some center point in the universe, the only life bearing planet. Some superior being just choose our location for an experiment. Religion actually convinces people that are planet is less than 20,000 years old. That there is a place called hell- which is underground...I mean really.. and Heaven. Like just that there merely fairy tales with good morals. Like your parents never told you that Santa clause was a fake and there are so many that aren't enlightened that you can still believe... even more shallow and just. Actually handicapped in the brain. With what we now consider common knowledge amongst us, our current understanding of history, people, and whats happening now; that you can force yourself to believe such deceptiveness is unfathomable. I seriously cant take how it's such a simple practice. Everything has a perfectly good moral to it, the list of sins, It just gets to me now. I used to not care as much, this was when the evidence wasn't slamming people in the face. We have people defending their beliefs and children's beliefs because others died believing in this righteous cause. I mean really if you think about it in a adequate way, of course those people believed that strongly. Generations of families believed for this one soul purpose, but rationally. If your parents, your teachers, or more easily said : the most influential part of life told you that there was a way about life, you would believe in that way and no other. It's human nature. Now over time these people died without explaining the truth behind the story. It's all just morals and right and wrong. It is a copied and reproduced story copied and manipulated over and over.

this is tight!!! finally someone gets where they should be! fuck you haters for trying to get all religious on us threw it...take a joke or put your finger up sit and spin!

who the fuck even wrote the bible? they're probably just over reacting besides, i don't live by a book, yes i believe in him but at the same time i dont know what to believe, really i just don't go to church that often :// haha, and i would do that tooxD because its funny

150. Lots of people wrote the bible. Mostly Gods chosen people and prophets in the old testament, and apostles in the new testament. I dont blame anyone of you people for all this. We all are just defending what we believe. I laughed when i read this too. I am a born again christian, someone told me to check this out and see what people are saying. I agree with the atheists in some points, it was a joke, dont punch a baby because people dis God. Its gonna happen. I can side with the religous people too though, you are just doing what you feel is right. Why you got on this sight in the first place, idk. (not right, lol) But what someone said up there is pretty much what it all boils down to. You all think ignorance is bliss. and if you atheists want to bash God, i suggest getting your facts straight and reading the bible. because us true believers know our stuff, and we know a lie. And your not going to sway our faith. So go read some philosophy and then come back when you actually know what your talking about and can hold a real argument. (example of a fake argument: or maybe you can pray for some fucking evidence for your stupid brone age fuckin fairytale .... # 85) we happen to have evidence, your just too lazy to look it up so you throw the F word around to make yourself look smart. Its just sad. lol

In the old testament, there are 120 distinct prophecies of the coming on Jesus Christ over a span on 700 years before His coming. In matthew, EVERY single one of those prophecies came true. The chances of one man fulfilling all those prophecies is 84 x 10 (131). Thats 131 zeroes by the way. Thats why God HAD to have a part in Jesus' life. Based on what i just read, the bibles validity is proven true, so why do you continue to be stubborn when the truth is right in front of you? Keep the questions coming! lol

i meant to put 1 in 84x10 etc. sorry for the confusion.

o.O people get crazy over religion. But I thought it was funny as helll!!!

Sticker.

MOST EPIC THING I HAVE EVER HEARD!!

I can't take all of this ridiculousness. I have only a few things to say: 1) some people need religion. It offers a sense of community and security. Don't bash it because it's not for you. 2) If Jesus existed, as a man, because I'm only approaching it from the one thing both sides could conceive of having happened, then he was a man with a message of peace. He was talking about a new kind of approach to the world that didn't involve ostracizing the sick or the poor. Of course, at the time, the vast majority of the population was the sick or poor, so a following was acquired. Not to mention the fact that nothing was going very well for anybody except the richest classes of the time, so anything that represented hope would look good. But the fact is that people took his message, and they turned it on its ass when they started killing for the sake of peace in the name of their non-violent Messiah. He had a lot of good ideas to offer but to religiously follow every word of one man, even if that man were the son of god, would be foolish because the most basic premise of the bible is that God created man in his image. If this is true, would it be a huge leap that our most natural curiosity and skepticism that has kept us thriving for so long as a species is, in fact, the quality God intended us to have. 3) You can be a good person without a bible. I've seen it happen. Many times. 4) You can be a good person with a bible. I've seen it happen. Many times 5) THIS IS A WEBSITE ABOUT DRUNK TEXT MESSAGES. THIS IS A JOKE TEXT. everybody can chill their panties and learn to accept that other people have different ideas. To do anything else makes both arguments hypocritical, and for a bunch of people throwing harsh words back and forth I think religion is a moot point-obviously, with or without it shit happens.

OKay, just re-read that last sentence and what I was trying to say did not come out at all there, haha, ignore that sentence. It makes no sense, or, at least the later half of it.

HAHAHA!!!!! Oh my god i love you! Thankyou for outting that piece of shit where it belongs!! God is fake, its just something all of you dumbasses are hiding behind.

I tried this. the mall cop chased me out of the store the cashier was laughing ahah

I love how people fight about religion haha. You're all so stupid. Who gives a fuck if god is real or not. People who believe in god shouldn't try to convince someone who does not believe in god that he is real, and vice versa because you're not going to change shit about someones personal beliefs. I don't try to shove a cock down a straight mans throat, and that's the analogy here. But this is funny as hell. Yes, that was a pun. Because hell is a made up fairytale land in this science fiction book called the bible. Stupid Christians. Go isn't real you dumbshits. You wanna know what happens when you die? Your body thetans exit your body and inhabit another. Like the good L Ron Hubbard spoke of in his prophecy. Lord Zenu shall return and burn all you mother fuckers in the volcanos of Hawaii. The Flying Speghetti Monster will fucking eat you like an octopus. And then Jennifer lopez will skin you and wear you as a coat. And then you will immediately shit your pants and then Darwin will laugh at you and piss on your face and in your asshole. And then I'll poop on your chest and. I'll open you and use your colon as a cantene and drink your liquid shit out of it. And then I'll rub your poop on my face like war paint. I will then strip down, and run around naked like an Indian. Screaming war chants and dance on your stinky bodies. Like hitler did. And Jesus. The only Jesus I know is the Jesus that does yard work for me.

you. are. king.

Your sick. really really sick. thats absolutely revolting. all i have to say to you is to check your facts before you start saying crap. you dont know crap about the bible and its relevance. if you did you would know that the bible is historically proven to be true, its just up to you to believe the supernatural in it. christians try and convert people because thats what there God told them to do (the great commission). Grow up and have some respect.

ok one thing the bible is historicly proven true just like any book that includes major events, yes there may have been a flood like the one described but just because some major events may have taken place doesnt mean that the story is true.

no, but look at the comment below by shpan. if that doesn't explain relevence than i dont know what does.

Dude I fuckin love you.. Can you say epic win?!

no, it doesn't. But if you look at the old testament, prophets predicted Jesus' birth and life 700 years before it happened. Micah 5:2-5 "But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times. Therefore Israel will be abandoned until the time when she who is in labor gives birth and the rest of his brothers return to join the Israelites. He will stand and shepherd his flock in the strength of the Lord, in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God. And they will live securely, for then his greatness will reach to the ends of the earth. And he will be their peace. " This was written 740 - 710 BC. Jesus was born in 6 AD. We already proved that the bible is relevent, but if that doesnt show you that God is real, and that Jesus was Lord, then your dumb because you cant take things at simple face value. Micah wasn't the only one to prophesy, over 400 prophecies were made in the old testament, it wasnt just one guy, it was over 200 over the course of 2000 years, and 700 years before Jesus' birth, and Jesus fulfilled everyone of them!

if you don't believe in god/ jesus then they do not exist. its kind of like unicorns, santa clause, and the easter bunny, when your little you believe in them... then you get older and learn they are not real. i do not believe in heaven or hell. therefore when i die i will be a decomposing mess and nothing more... guess what? i dont need some 'comfort zone' and believe that i am going to go to 'heaven' just because i spend 3/4 of my life worshiping my imagination.

Why are all you bible-thumpers got your panties in a bunch? chill the fuck out. everybody has the right to their opinion and freedom of choice of religion or lack thereof. who cares if the bible is real or not. trying to prove it to somebody who has already made up their mind differently is just going to get you frustrated. now go pray and leave your shit at the door

bastards from HELLLLLLLLLL jesus is real so's god the bible should be in the non-fiction section where it belongs

You're going to hell. End of story.

ITS A FUCKING JOKE! Get over it.