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(905):
everyone kept asking you why you were dressed in a pirate costume and you only replied with "IM TRYIN TO FIND SOME BOOOTY"
(716):
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
(415):
Why is hangover poop so stinky??? I mean, I'm already not feeling the best, then I gotta sit in this stench?!?! It's like my butt is trying to punish me & teach me a lesson! Alright, fine, butthole! You win! I'm never drinking again! :)
(440):
If im wasted any good looking guy could get me to do them. Unles im wearing a belt...then i have time to think
(703):
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
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(781):
I knOwwww. her skirt wassss so unesecary tonight. gaaah
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