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(479):
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
(484):
What happened last night dude? (215) You got so drunk at the Flyers game, threw up all over the bathroom floor, passed out, and when you came to we all got thrown out. (484) Best birthday EVER!!
(251):
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
(845):
(recd) shit i think im pregnant (sent) u think? (rcvd) well the test thinks so (sent) oh... hey does this mean i get to push u down a flight of stairs now?
(816):
How many times can you go home with someone before you're obligated to give them your number
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(901):
If someone ever shits in the urinal at work, just to let you know... it was me =]
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