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(949):
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
(404):
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
(781):
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
(309):
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
(815):
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
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(307):
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
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