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(678):
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
(352):
so i'm out drinking with my girlfriends and we go back to a friends house and i was so drunk, i ended up shitting myself thinking it was a fart. so i ruined my short shorts and they drive me home and i throw up in my mouth without my friends noticing then my friend started makin out with me. i woke up the next morning with my shit shorts still on and my bra over my eyes.
(250):
(recv'd): Who is this? You're named raviolli on my phone for some reason. (sent) That's because I like to be stuffed with meat.
(360):
Dude we just hot boxed our car in front of the police station!! eeeppiiiccc
(404):
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
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(678):
I tried to fist her. Either she was to tight or I was to impatient. I tried to force my way in, and effectively destroyed my first vagina. Why do i not feel like a douche?
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