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(650-melis):
i dont kno where i am. pretty sure i am kidnapped. come save me. if u dont, forget being my friend. i am turning my phone off and waiting for u. i see creepers. pretty sure i am going to be raped. fuckkkkk. good night.
(562):
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
(206):
It was kinda like sucking on a baby carrot
(337):
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
(563):
He was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
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(Anonymous):
Last night, "Where are yo? I have just seen a midget transvestite with a beard" MDT
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