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(760):
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
(Anonymous):
Last night I received this texts from my bro, "Never fear I pulled out... she had lies about taking birth control written all over her face." MDT
(516):
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
(949):
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
(206):
Oh iphone....how I love your autocorrect. You make me seem so less drunk than I really am!!!
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(419):
I just used a candy cane straight off the tree as a chaser for vodka....i love the holidays.
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3 years ago
prime.
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53162 (0 Points) 3 years ago
prime.