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(902):
as sex was just getting good .. he started to go faster and said " just like a race car "
(618):
Why is there a hole in my wall? (recvd): Last night, after 8 shots, you had a dance contest with your dog, got mad cause you thought you lost, and punched the wall.
(902):
I'm going to shave my phone number into my pubes, so when a girl is giving me head, she will know who to call for more hardcore fucking.
(919):
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
(315):
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
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(423):
I smell raspberres and I got he spins and matss mad and i can't breathe outta muh nose!
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