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(740):
I totally just rocked her world via index and middle finger =]
(520):
I wanted to get an abortion, but my boyfriend needs new tires more.
(416):
he just told me he's hung like a spaniard. (647) what does that even mean? (416) i don't know but i fully untend to find out.
(312):
Turns out the cougar I hooked up with has 3 HOT daughters all around my age. This is either the cruelest twist of fate or best opportunity ever.
(707):
I really want to fuck Taylor Swift for 2 reasons. 1. She's hot. and 2. she'd write a song about me afterwards.
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(310):
I just found the missing piece of quesdilla from last night
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