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(971):
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
(609):
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
(850):
Here's how u end the twilight saga in one scene... Bella and Edward smoke a blunt together. Edward gets the munchies. No more Bella. The end.
(678):
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
(937):
Do you know CPR because my dick stopped breathing.
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(MDT):
the midgets are coming but its ok cos i have cheese :)
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