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(925):
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
(507):
So drinking reached a new low for me. I just bought my chaser from a little girl's lemonade stand.
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Not now, theres a midget doin coke on the coffee table
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Look in your toilet. (1-201) What the fuck it's a green shit! (201) Happy St. Patrick's Day
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I love facebook. When the drug dealer friend requests you and you realize you have 181 friends in common.
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(781):
last night, tried to explain how white my black ex-gf acted, and the only thing i could come up with was "she was barry mannalow white"
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