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(608):
I can't do sexting what am I suppose to say I'm so wet its raining in my pants?
(717):
i'm at the zoo (1-717): have you been drinking again? (717): a gorilla in a cage I just walked up to stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off!
(610):
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
(908):
I got laid last night! by some old chick...looked like a cougar...before i put it in her i yelled at my dick "quick into the bat cave!!"
(352):
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
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(828):
my computer just froze in class on mdt when i was supposed to be doing research... my professor didnt think the txt on the screen was half as funny as i did...
Great Night
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